Missed opportunity

One of Edmonton's municipal development team may well now be looking for a better opportunity somewhere else.

@teej_85

School's out

Good advice.

Both to give and to take.

Indecent offer

20% off sounds pretty good.

But 20% off every day? Well, as Greg L says, that's just the standard price then, surely?

Talk about being taken to the cleaners.

Trumped

Before he and his catchphrases are lost and forgotten about forever, I thought I'd take this opportunity to remind ourselves of his visionary campaign slogan.

© Wallingford Sign

Bested

On a large billboard, the University of South Dakota proves it's the best.

The best at what, exactly?

Apparently, Tena Haraldson, Director of marketing communications and media relations for the university is quoted as saying, 'It happens.'

Though I suspect that's not quite what she said.

Small-minded

You should always check the small print. Even if it's invisible to the naked eye.

Here's a poster on a BART platform that Jon C came across.

The usual 'terms and conditions apply' disclaimer is at the bottom right. However, it's so small we've had to enlarge it for you.

But, if you think that's small, check out the asterisk next to it, and then try and find the text to which the asterisk refers.

Here's a clue. Even at the full poster size you'd need a magnifier.

Well hidden

Don't be distracted by Katniss or you'll miss a typographical gem.

Tickety-boo

'I'm sorry but there seems to have been a bit of a mix up with our tickets.'

Mamma Mia

Just like your mother made.

But hopefully not just like your mother.

X-rated movie

Goodness me. This is going back a bit.

To the year 2000 in fact.

Now that really would be the turn of the century.

Eye test

Thanks to Elf Odin (@ElfOdin) for this poster which he spotted at Wilmot Mountain Flea Market in Wisconsin.

It really makes my skin crawl and I can hardly bring myself to look at it.

Maybe through a pair of those 'Premium' $3.33 Readers it would look OK.

Father Ted

Looks like Father Dougal's been in charge of the notice board this week.

Eggstreme sport

Thanks to Deb B for sending in this photo.

I wonder how many they found there?

No room at the inn

Really?

Yes, really.

No wonder there's no room.

Church notices

I'm doing my bit to make at least the start of your New Year a Happy one.

This holiday you might have found yourself, perhaps slightly inebriated, inside a church.

The following messages were all published in church magazines, notice boards, or in announcements during a service. It's not clear whether the authors were also under the influence at the time of writing.

The Fasting And Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off. Let the church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be auditions for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practise.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5pm - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7pm there will be hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held on Thursday at 10am. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the BS is finished.

The vicar would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

The Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet on Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.

The Under 12s Drama Group will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.

The vicar unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

Please note that the box at the back of the church marked 'For The Sick' is for financial contributions only.

S-S-S-Single zed

Portsmouth comes up trumps again with this poster outside a restaurant in Southsea.

I get the triple s to emphasise how the sssteaksss sssound when they're being cooked.

It actually works quite well.

But the poor old z on its own looks lonely and sad.

Not exactly the mood any restaurant would wish to convey.

A good excuse, then, to cheer ourselves up with Noosha and friends.

Wot U locking at?

Today we travel with Jon C to the streets of Cambridge, only to discover that the city is not quite living up to its reputation for academic excellence.

Looks like the city's students come cheap too. Not only can you buy some for the lowest prices in town along with covers and accessories, but they're also available at a discoutn, er, discoutned, er, with something knocked off.

Which is probably what most of the stock is.

University Centre Peterborough

Yes, I know. It's quite the oxymoron.

But, more important than that, Jon C has been playing detective. And a very good fist he's made of it, too.

Here's a poster that's being displayed in and around Peterborough advertising University Centre Peterborough which is an offshoot of Cambridge's Anglia Ruskin University.

(Hey, how's this for a new parlour game? Try and come up with the most unlikely sounding name and location for a University.)

Now, like Jon, anyone from Peterborough will know that there is nowhere in that otherwise fair city that looks remotely like this and he suspected that the photo had been taken somewhere else.

So he donned his deerstalker and dug around a bit.

Very quickly a search in Google images unearthed the photo in a German image library and Jon sought out the photographer, Tyler Olson, a Norwegian currently living in Canada.

Tyler assured Jon that the photo had been taken on a University campus. But not in Peterborough. Not even at Anglia Ruskin or Cambridge. But at the University of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon, Canada.

That's over 4,000 miles and 8 time zones away from Peterborough.

I'm sorry, good citizens of Peterborough, but that's about as far away from Peterborough as the thought of a University in your city.

Good on you, though, for trying.

But surely there are some equally pleasant places of your own that you could have shown?

UWAGA!

Eagle-eyed Jon C came across this British Transport Police poster displayed at Peterborough railway station.

A quick look on Google Translate tells me that Uwaga! is Polish for Attention! and the poster is warning against crossing the railway lines.

I'm not sure why the Poles are being singled out. Surely they don't all come from the wrong side of the tracks.

Anyway, on closer inspection the picture is doing nothing to avoid confusion amongst our Polish friends.

Welcome to BTP's Mirror World.

If your Irish

Come into the parlour and enjoy Trev L's contribution from the streets of the Emerald Isle.

Volunteers needed.

Proofreading skills clearly not necessary.