Penile reduction

Pendennis. It's one of the world's leading custom superyacht builders.

A global brand synonymous with quality, craftsmanship, exclusivity...

and willies.

As engineers you'd think they'd have seen that one coming.

The Hunter From The Future

Jon C has found yet another spelling to add to the perennial your and you're discussion.

By the way, you do remember how to remind yourself which one to use, don't you?

No? Try this...

Grammar: The difference between knowing your sh-t and knowing you're sh-t.

But Yor?

No.

Unless the blog is by this guy.

Online rag

Sad news indeed but the Mirror managed to muck it up.

Raggae artist?

I guess it's a sort of Desmond Dekker / Scott Joplin fusion.

Not sure how that might sound.

Brace yourselves

This College Professor might want to consider brushing up his handwriting.

Especially when advising dozens of students who would be, most likely, already clenching at the thought of a more conventional examination.

British Airheads

How many times do we have to tell those ignorant London-based marketeers and publicists that Leeds, West Yorkshire and Leeds, Kent are not one and the same place?

You'd think that, in order to justify their undoubtedly fat salaries, they'd rely on more than a simple Google image search to furnish their 'research'.

For finding this one, my thanks go to Dennis A, from Leeds.

The city, not the village.

161 Years A Typo

I think this may well be one of the oldest typos I've seen.

It appeared in an 1853 edition of The New York Times and concerns the name of the man whose story was told in this year's Oscar-winning film 12 Years A Slave.

Not only does the newspaper spell his name differently within seconds, but also neither of the spellings is correct.

It's Solomon Northup. Just sayin'.

Swap shop

Parents! Unhappy with the gender of your child?

Call in and get it changed!

What's that you say? Oh, it's Kids Exchange?

OK, never mind the gender thing. Just swap the whole kid for another.

Still Game Day

Gameday... The Right Way is the 'fan conduct initiative' implemented by the San Diego Chargers American football team.

When it was introduced, Jim Steeg, the Chargers’ Executive Vice President & Chief Operating Officer said, 'All of the parties involved in our game-day experience have stepped up and will do whatever it takes to promote a positive environment and deal strongly with those few individuals who over-indulge.'

Damn. If only they'd got to the Banner Printer in time.

Hic!

And, if you missed the headline, this might help.

No, No, Nao

I don't follow so-called celebrities on Twitter but, luckily, I know people who do and I rely on those good people to point out their solecisms. Here's a good one from @annfirth.

It's Naomi Campbell attempting to congratulate the fabulous Malala Yousafzai on winning the Nobel Peace Prize last week. And failing miserably.

Close, Naomi, but no cigar. Not even a tobacco leaf.

Even more astounding was her attempt to explain her errors on Instagram.

Not good enough, Nomes. Probably best to stick to whatever it is you do.

And keep well away from writing.

Making it snappy

We have Jon C to accuse thank today for this photo which he took in the loo at Peterborough railway station. It's been quite some time since we visited Peterborough, the typo centre of the UK. I almost miss the place. Almost.

Anyway, I find it amusing that the cleaning staff make their hourly checks (the emphasis must be important) as couples which, with it being Peterborough, I guess must amount to double-Czechs.

But it's not so much the content that makes me laugh.

No. It's more the obvious camera shake.

Reflecting, as it does, the fact that Jon C was in a hurry to take the picture as he was terrified of being caught lurking in a toilet taking photographs. So he snapped it as quickly as he could.

In fact, he tells me his photo session was as quick as a flash.

And I have no reason to doubt his comparison.

Stop right there

I sometimes wonder exactly what skills are required of a Road Surface Marker. (Is that the correct job title?)

Even if they can't read or spell you'd think that, after writing the same word so many times (they must do, mustn't they?) they'd have come to recognise the correct shapes falling in the correct order.

Especially when there's a massive clue standing right next to them.

Er... no

It's a while since I first came across this sign and I forgot to note where it was spotted.

Christchurch in New Zealand I seemed to remember.

For confirmation, I've just done the obvious thing and Googled 'Catherdral Square' Christchurch to find that there are over 700,000 results.

So, whoever's responsible for the error is clearly not alone and shouldn't feel too bad.

Haha!

I've just Googled 'Cathedral Square' Christchurch and there are only 400,000 results.

So who's wrong?

Time ferk offee

Thanks to Dennis A and Wendy R, among others, who sent in this photo of the back of a café in St Sepulchre Gate, Doncaster.

Photo: Ross Parry

What? You didn't think that...

You people!

It's a F*ck-in T.

Dove tale

It's just occurred to me that it's been a while since we shopped at Tescon. Er, Tesco.

Hmph. Nothing has changed.

It's still lying and cheating its way into our wallets.