Say cheese

With the help of a cheery song for a holiday Monday.

That's no lady

Organisers of the Noah's Ark appeal of Wales were left red-faced after the unveiling of a sign for a street in Cardiff named after the appeal's patron, Shirley Bassey.

It carried a misspelling of the Welsh word for Dame.

Apparently, instead of Y Fonsig, it should have read Y Fonesig.

Knowing Welsh as well as I do (ahem), the incorrect spelling probably translates to something like 'that old Tiger Bay bird'.

De-stress signal

The Malaysian Ministry of Tourism was being derided the other week for publishing this advert featuring a stress ball with text printed on it that was supposed to say, 'Don't Be Stressed. Come and De-stress in Malaysia.'

But it didn't.

A bit of a stress balls up.

Unless Malaysia is home to a growing industry in shabby chic production.

Love a duck

I don't know about you but, at my Chinese, plain old Shredded is how I normally have it.

offbeatchina.com

Proposing a toast

They say that, for a business to succeed, it helps to have a Unique Selling Proposition.

I'm not sure that this proposition is quite what they had in mind.

Proud parent

You know what pride comes before, don't you?

Butt out

As the pot said to the kettle.

Name that tuna

Another mouthful of Fanny, Vicar?

Pale pink flesh, smothered in oil. Very palatable.

Yes, it does taste a little fishy, now you mention it.

Do you think it might have been boned?

Had an accident?

Call 0800 800 8000 now and try explaining exactly how it happened.

Pardon my French

Sacré Bleu!

Perhaps it's a local delicacy.

Is you is or is you ain't?

Muphry's Law in action on Bubblews.

In other words, do as I say and not as I do.

Solstice solace

Who wouldn't be tempted on a cold mid-winter's night?

Unspeakable date

Driving through Santa Clara CA, Jon C was just about able to capture this banner outside the Portuguese Hall of Santa Clara on Lafayette Street.

It's interesting, not least because the Sociedade Do Espirito Santo (the SES) is an organisation whose aim for nigh on 120 years has been to preserve and promote Portuguese culture.

But the sound th doesn't exist in the Portuguese language.

So not only is November 22th meaningless to all and sundry, it's also unpronounceable by the very people at whom the banner is directed.

Hard cash

Angie J was more than a little surprised the other day when she came across this ATM outside a new Tesco Express in Aberystwyth town centre offering Welsh speakers a degree of largesse not normally associated with bankers.

That's Bankers for those of you whose ears suddenly pricked up.

We've come to expect free cash withdrawals.

But free erections? Now that is big.

OK. It may serve to underline the somewhat diverse benefits to be enjoyed from a hole in the wall by certain of those who live among us.

But to ask a Welsh speaker to check a few words before going public?

Surely it's not that hard.

Twisting your words

It's time for something a little different today.

I include this not for its religious content which I neither support nor oppose, nor for its typos (I've spotted only one so far) but simply as an example of an interesting exercise with words.

Unstopable

Elf Odin opened up a can of worms by sending me the following photo after finding this product in the box bin at a Sam's Club.

Downy is a brand owned by Procter & Gamble so I checked the website and what did I find?

The same product, undoubtedly, which is marketed in the UK under the Lenor brand.

And spelt correctly.

So I went back to the website, this time the US version, and found this.

So, P&G, what we need to know, please, is why the two identical products are spelt differently and, as far as I'm concerned, incorrectly in the US.

Oh, and just one last point.

Despite scrutinising the web sites in the name of research, I still have no idea what this product is nor what it does.

Chinese laundry blues

Dennis A has been rummaging again and found this.

Honestly. I don't think the reference to the child is necessary.

Because, if you're having to turn the garment inside out to wash it, then surely the child will just pop out anyway.

Shirt tales

Along with many other Leeds folk, including Steve S who sent this photo in (thank you), I was really pleased that Leeds Rhinos won the Rugby League Challenge Cup Final at the weekend by beating local rivals Castleford.

Or Castelford, according to the Winners shirts all the team wore at the homecoming at Headingley Carnegie Stadium on Monday.

OK. I guess the shirt printers could be forgiven.

It's another team. Another town. Surely they wouldn't make such an error closer to home, would they?

Er, yes. They would. And did, back in April when they produced this shirt in celebration of Jamie Peacock's 500th career game.

To think that Andrew Carnegie donated vast sums of money trying to improve literacy.

Punk's not dead

We all turn into our parents eventually.

At least bad spelling lives on.

More crap from Tesco

Thanks to Trev L for pointing out this notice which was displayed at the Tesco Express store in Kingsland Road, Hackney last week, and photographed by David Sparks.

Quite a lot of support has been shown for Dilal, the Store Manager, and his staff. For, despite the grammatical errors and the, ahem, rather messy malapropism, no one has yet been, er, discharged.

I'm guessing that a surge in diaper sales has ensured staff retention.