Starting at the bottom

Many people would suggest that Nigel Farage is a real pain in the backside.

The BBC appears to agree with them.

Touching news

As found in the Derry Journal, here's a plan which will create a cleavage of opinion.

@alistaircoleman

Analyze this

The South Florida Sun-Sentinel newspaper appears to have invented a new word.

It certainly provides an alternative approach to delving deeply into something.

Gun crime

Last Saturday's edition of the Glenwood Springs Post Independent newspaper couldn't have been more off target with its Opinion headline.

Jackie O

A neighbour was hoping to give Jackie Mabey a surprise for her 70th birthday with an announcement in her local newspaper, Southwark News.

But the surprise didn't quite go as planned.

SOUTHWARK NEWS/ISSUU

Maybe she is, maybe she isn't.

Either way, Happy Birthday, Jackie.

Verisimilar university

The latest graduates of Texas Christian University must be so proud of their alma mater after reading the programme for their degree ceremony.

I mean, it's like a real university, but doesn't quite make it.

Irish generosity

And here's to you, Mrs Robinson.

Making the head lines

Nice guy, that Gregg Wallace.

You could never imagine him as a dickhead.

Or could you?

Sub-sea secret

So that's how they do it. What a novel idea. Who'd have thought?

In Spike Milligan's immortal words: Damned clever these Chinese.

Papal bull

With the Pope's visit flooding TV news channels in the USA last week, I guess it had to happen at some point.

Well, it is the easier, safer way to pray.

Achy Breaky Heart for Billy Ray

Well, here's an interesting result uncovered by Tom L.

Looks like Wales won by a country Miley.

What Katy did

You can always rely on The Daily Express to maintain its standards.

The article spares us the sordid details so we're left wondering whether it was an American, a French landing strip or a full Brazilian.

Whichever she plumped for, no doubt it excited Willie.

Desperately seeking it

Thanks to Ann F we can enjoy the gaffe on the front cover of Monday's Daily Express.

It's over on the right if you're having trouble spotting it.

That's the one. Just across from the dyslexia headline.

Head lines

When you're reporting about a country that continues to punish people regularly by beheading them, you need to be very wary of how Auto Correct might alter your headline.

Land and water pitcher

Apparently, it's quite rare in baseball to find an ambidextrous pitcher who's able to throw a decent ball with either hand.

Even rarer to find one who was born with gills.

Tickety-boo

'I'm sorry but there seems to have been a bit of a mix up with our tickets.'

Bringing up the rear

Tom Heeney's first pledge to voters in Arlesey should have been to make sure he spelt the name of their town correctly.

Instead of implying that they live in a hole.

I wonder how he did in the election.

Bottom, perhaps?

Harder than ever

The Large Hadron Collider has been out of the news for a couple of years while it's been shut down and upgraded.

But now it's back with double its previous capacity.

And with it, the same old headlines from BBC News which, clearly, hasn't matched the upgrade to its spell-check system.

Dissolution of the monarchy

Dennis A informs me that, according to Sky News, the revolution has already begun.

The confession of the seal

Ann F reminded me that I'd forgotten to post this one from CNN.

I'm not sure which was the more surprising.

The news that the US President was dead. Or that he was killed by a seal.

Let alone a talking seal.