Typos, year in and year out

Perhaps all the other Diaries have been sold and Now there's only one Available.

Sorry, Avalible.

Poopermarket jobs

It's not clear whether these would be your weekly toilet break allowances or the average number of that type of customer you might encounter each week.

Remember, remember

The 5th of November.

Or should that be the 3th?

Picture: Silverfernz/Reddit

Who put the crack in crackers?

Aldi did.

At least, a so-called Graphic Designer did, with the hare-brained idea of mixing capital and lower case letters within words.

It's believed that Rosemary wasn't too happy with her box on display like that.

Six foot cocks

These were for sale on a market stall in Spain.

It's reassuring to know that they're comfortable.

Tomato sorcery

You say tomato, I say... lemon.

Chicken Littles

Well, they do say that they taste just like chicken.

Good reason to snicker

There can't be many people in the world who would confuse their nuts and penis.

Roll up, roll up

Thanks to Zoe D for pointing me towards Walmart's version of rolling back its prices.

Indecent offer

20% off sounds pretty good.

But 20% off every day? Well, as Greg L says, that's just the standard price then, surely?

Talk about being taken to the cleaners.

Flushed cheeks

Remember the Lady Parts garage Jon C found in Palo Alto?

Well, just a few blocks away in Menlo Park he also found this showroom.

Most guys don't even talk about their pipes and ballcocks, never mind put them on display.

Say cheese

With the help of a cheery song for a holiday Monday.

Fudging it

To avoid the wrath of the several Welsh ladies I know, I'm throwing the blame for this one directly on to Greg L who sent it in.

Franco-Portuguese relations

As far as I know, and Elf Odin (@ElfOdin) too, enceinte is French for pregnant.

But altofalante is, I believe, Portuguese for speaker.

So how do you get a French pregnant from a Portuguese speaker?

Sounds like Rodrigo has some explaining to do to Monsieur et Madame Dubois.

Anything goes

Please do not place anything on this Freezer.

Not even a warning sign.

Alcoholic drink

Like Jon C (that's his reflection again!), I'm not sure whether this root beer is made in the presence of an alcoholic or whether the alcoholic is one of the ingredients.

This is shop

I challenge you to read this poster in anything other than a foreign accent.

At least they apologise for their verbal diarrhoea.

Making the head lines

Nice guy, that Gregg Wallace.

You could never imagine him as a dickhead.

Or could you?

Giving it 110%

Della Farzad thought she'd snagged a bonus when she bought this packet of ham in an Aldi shop in Wakefield and noticed that it contained 110% British Pork.

Photo: SWNS

An Aldi spokesperson explained helpfully that the figures are correct, though they should have been expressed in grams rather than percentages.

So, not correct then.

But wait just a doggone minute, Aldi. Something's not quite right here.

If the amount of pork is, as you affirm, 110g, then what the hell makes up the other 290g of product?

Bull? I think so.

Come to think of it

It was just a convenience store based in the USA mid-West until I saw this tweet.