Crap advice

This cover of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review's Living section was featured in AdWeek.

Well, I guess suit happens.

On the mat again

Ah, 'Quality' Mats. Welcome back.

I see you've not returned to apologise for your last gaffe. In fact, you've brought even more with you this time.

Well, your five seconds is now up and, without doubt, you've made 'a lasting statement'.

With the unnecessary capital letters and incorrect punctuation marks (or lack of any punctuation marks) there are no less than fourteen errors in your first sentence.

Which, actually, should be two sentences.

Oh, and it's whose, not who's. Nor even whos.

You're welcome.

Closed caption

The recent bad weather has had a serious effect on West Yorkshire's road system.

According to the BBC, it appears that the A635 has turned into a very long road leading from Last Of The Summer Wine country directly to the little-known tiny Welsh hamlet of Clsoed.

Extreme necking

The great thing about reading rather than, say, watching TV is that it allows you to use your imagination.

And who better to fire it than Stephen King?

Aagh! Out, damned imagination! Out I say!

It wouldn't be so bad, but... locked? Sounds like a wrestling position.

Oh, there you go...

Anyway, it must be a really perverted spell checker, or at least one with a questionable history, which thinks that that word is a suitable replacement for arms.

Meanwhile I'm wondering how he managed to peek.

Its confused

You may have heard about the brouhaha surrounding the proposal by Mid Devon Council to abandon apostrophes in street names from now on 'to avoid potential confusion'.

Yes, I know. Idiots.

Well I don't intend repeating all the arguments here but, while endeavouring to discover more, John H was bemused to see this headline in Saturday's Daily Telegraph.

So, is The Telegraph trying to be clever here? Ironic? Sarcastic even?

John doesn't think so. He says, 'I can't believe it's not a deliberate mistake, but there's no footnote or reference to the headline in the article, and it's not yet April 1st, so it must be a genuine typo!'

I agree, John. Its a typo.

Not the half of it

You can call me picky if you like but, when I was at school, a half meant a half.

But, according to Jack C who spotted this in his local Co-op, that's not true any more.

OK, so it's a better bargain than advertised.

But what's tragic is that this particular Co-op is situated in the heart of Leeds's student area and must, I have no doubt, employ Maths students as part-time workers.

You'd think they'd have noticed.

Or perhaps, assuming they work half the normal hours, they'd be happy with only 46.5% of the pay.

Inspirational

So, it's not just me.

Jon C has also received one of those unsolicited emails; this one from GreenStones, an accountancy practice.

The aim of this newsletter, it says, is to inspire you and your business to become the best that you can be.

How does it do that?

By leaving entirely unedited the text at the top left which is taken directly from whichever email template was used.

Yeah, really inspiring.

If that's the best you can be, GreenStones, it's actually not much better than my worst.

Oh joy. I've just checked the website and the business is based in Peterborough.

Should have guessed.

Strictly for Americans

Thanks to Hil J who found this here when trying to advertise on Pamscom's USA site.

That's true. I am.

And I can spell.

First Impressions

I've retrieved another of those unsolicited emails before confining it to eternal spamnation.

Indeed they do, 'Quality' Mats.

Indeed they do.

Unusual timepiece

My thanks today go to Dennis A who pointed me towards this BBC cock up on GeekZilla.

I'm wondering, if there was such a thing, what it would say.

Apart from 'Cock-a-doodle-do, it's time to get up', of course.

No? Isn't that what you were thinking?

Ah. I see.

Chelsean

Many thanks to Angie J who asks whether this is a new name for residents of Chelsea.

Could be, Ange.

Well, for temporary residents anyway.

Put it here

www.icameacrossthisscreenshotofatvreportaboutfuelpricesintheusa.com

Boom.

MSU bookstore

Embarrassed officials at Missouri State University (that's Missouri State University) have admitted that the MSU bookstore gave students 6,000 printed canvas book bags all containing a spelling error.

For a University, it's some spelling error.

According to News-Leader, the mistake was noticed by a student after only a few hundred bags had been distributed. Somewhat bizarrely though, the decision was taken to carry on handing them out until all 6,000 orders were fulfilled.

Only then were the remaining 2,500 destroyed.

But there's more.

Apparently, half the bags ordered have the correct spelling and these are due to be given out in August.

MSU spent over $70,000 on the book bags but is not planning to recoup any of the cost because the original artwork for the bag, submitted by MSU, had the word misspelled, and because MSU subsequently approved a proof of the artwork sent by the printer, which also contained the misspelling.

This begs the question: if a proof containing the error had been approved, how is it possible that half the bags are OK?

It doesn't really explain that particular issue but, at the time, there was no Bookstore Director. Mark Brixey resigned from that position in August on the day he otherwise would have been fired, according to Paul Kincaid, MSU’s Chief of Staff.

Brixey had been unable to explain to MSU auditors why $500,000 was missing from bookstore funds and why $81,000 in cash was discovered in his desk.

Let's just say that he may well have been somewhat preoccupied at the time the proof was approved.