Open secret

What would happen if Basil Fawlty was put in charge of UK road signs?

'Listen. Don't mention the Secret Nuclear Bunker. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.'

Love a duck

I don't know about you but, at my Chinese, plain old Shredded is how I normally have it.

offbeatchina.com

Cool name

It's Stoke Newington rather than Oxford Street.

But, if you sell fridges in your shop, why wouldn't you use this name?

Fat cat

Here's a job I wouldn't mind having.

Well, a salary I wouldn't mind having at least.

Julian Regan-Mears (@jreganmears)

One problem: you can only have the job if you can say exactly what the salary is within 5 seconds.

Proposing a toast

They say that, for a business to succeed, it helps to have a Unique Selling Proposition.

I'm not sure that this proposition is quite what they had in mind.

The confession of the seal

Ann F reminded me that I'd forgotten to post this one from CNN.

I'm not sure which was the more surprising.

The news that the US President was dead. Or that he was killed by a seal.

Let alone a talking seal.

Lyfting standards

I can understand it - just about - when people confuse your and you're.

(Just a reminder: It's the difference between knowing your sh-t and knowing you're sh-t.)

But what I, and Jon C I think, find particularly infuriating is the inconsistency shown by some people.

Shame, because Lyft seems like a really good idea.

Supply and demand

Dennis A shows us a problem when wrapping a small present with Let It Snow gift wrap.

You end up with solicitations rather than felicitations.

Repeat of-ender

Wanted by British Transport Police.

The person who proofread this poster.

Jon C, Peterborough

Less of your sauce

I know that Salsa is a great way of achieving weight loss.

But not, as I thought, Salsa dancing.

No. Apparently, it's the sauce.

You can stick your jaws together with it.

No bad feelings

Today's photo of the entrance to the Old Kings Road 'English pub' in Santa Barbara, California by Tony R (that's his reflection in the window) arrives via Jon C.

Although I understand exactly what it means (I'm British), I'm also wondering how effective this sign could be.

I mean, if you, er, truly qualify, you're not going to walk up to the door, read the sign, and steal away, surely? That really would be taking matters into your own hand, as it were.

And the people whom it's really targeting (you know the type) won't recognise themselves as such in a million years.

It's short and to the point though. I'd be tempted to have a drink there.

Even if it was just to hold my own.

Location, location, location

Estate agents. Don't you just love 'em?

How would you like to live in an apartment located, as ReMax estate agency said in its advertising, 'close to one of the world’s leading financial districts and in one of the most cosmopolitan areas of London'.

ReMax went on to claim that 'Stepping inside your Flowers Way apartment you are transported to a luxurious haven, leaving the day’s stresses far behind.'

At £550,000 it sounded too good to be true.

It was.

ReMax owner, Tim Marshall, later apologised and blamed a 'typographical error' for the advert’s misleading description.

What was misleading about it?

Well, firstly, the apartments are in Luton. Yes, Luton, which is not quite 'one of the most cosmopolitan areas of London'. And, it's about 37 miles away from London's financial district.

Tim Marshall again: 'It should have read Luton as opposed to London. I have personally checked, and corrected when necessary, all properties we have advertised in Luton. We apologise for the error and trust that this typographical error can be treated as such and was not a deliberate attempt to mislead the public by ourselves' he says.

Goodness me, Tim. That's some typo.

So you actually meant 'close to one of the world’s leading financial districts and in one of the most cosmopolitan areas of Luton'?

Hmm. I'm not convinced.

Not least because, according to the Luton News newspaper, which had exclusively obtained the story, the Flowers Way flats actually backs on to the Red Lion pub, Luton Crown Court and G Casino, while the view from them would be of the town’s Park Viaduct carriageway.

As I said, that's some typo.

To Protect And To Serve With Relish

Dennis A tells me there's a town in Massachusetts called Sandwich.

Naturally, the town's police force is referred to as...

No doubt guarding against atrocious crimes such as this.