Typos, year in and year out

Perhaps all the other Diaries have been sold and Now there's only one Available.

Sorry, Avalible.

Say cheese

With the help of a cheery song for a holiday Monday.

Alcoholic drink

Like Jon C (that's his reflection again!), I'm not sure whether this root beer is made in the presence of an alcoholic or whether the alcoholic is one of the ingredients.

This is shop

I challenge you to read this poster in anything other than a foreign accent.

At least they apologise for their verbal diarrhoea.

Hair of the dog

It's a pet grooming parlour.

But there's no rear entrance.

Cool name

It's Stoke Newington rather than Oxford Street.

But, if you sell fridges in your shop, why wouldn't you use this name?

Proposing a toast

They say that, for a business to succeed, it helps to have a Unique Selling Proposition.

I'm not sure that this proposition is quite what they had in mind.

No bad feelings

Today's photo of the entrance to the Old Kings Road 'English pub' in Santa Barbara, California by Tony R (that's his reflection in the window) arrives via Jon C.

Although I understand exactly what it means (I'm British), I'm also wondering how effective this sign could be.

I mean, if you, er, truly qualify, you're not going to walk up to the door, read the sign, and steal away, surely? That really would be taking matters into your own hand, as it were.

And the people whom it's really targeting (you know the type) won't recognise themselves as such in a million years.

It's short and to the point though. I'd be tempted to have a drink there.

Even if it was just to hold my own.

Pardon my French

Sacré Bleu!

Perhaps it's a local delicacy.

That was the week that was

Or was that the week that still is?

Who knows? Not Tom L.

Nor these guys.

Solstice solace

Who wouldn't be tempted on a cold mid-winter's night?

Giving thanks

There's no need to give thanks this year because Thank itself is doing the giving.

Or maybe Thank owns a giving.

Either way, we're being warned in plenty of time.

Those dates correspond to Thanksgiving 2016.

Swap shop

Parents! Unhappy with the gender of your child?

Call in and get it changed!

What's that you say? Oh, it's Kids Exchange?

OK, never mind the gender thing. Just swap the whole kid for another.

Losing count

Not quite what you'd expect to find in Waitrose's window.

What's that you say? A disgruntled photographer taking the picture from that exact position? Or a disaffected employee placing the poster behind the pillar to create maximum negative impact?

Whoever's behind it, there are clearly more with the same idea.

Needs a cross-check

On one of my regular walks, I caught this in a local Estate Agent's window.

I think they may have spotted me taking the photo though. It's since been corrected.

I'm taking that as a win.

Suite deals

Queen Anne furniture with Mary Anne marketing.

You can't get much lower than that.

Open door policy

Oh look. Found by Dennis A on Janis Ian's Facebook Page, here's another of those confusing situations that only pushmi-pullyus are able to solve.

It reminds me of the Useless Box.

More crap from Tesco

Thanks to Trev L for pointing out this notice which was displayed at the Tesco Express store in Kingsland Road, Hackney last week, and photographed by David Sparks.

Quite a lot of support has been shown for Dilal, the Store Manager, and his staff. For, despite the grammatical errors and the, ahem, rather messy malapropism, no one has yet been, er, discharged.

I'm guessing that a surge in diaper sales has ensured staff retention.

XXX-rated video hire

If you've never heard of kerning, or you don't really know what it is and couldn't care less about it, this video shop sign in Hudson, Florida may help emphasise its importance.

Clause for kerncern

Bull Titan US is the brand name of a range of casual and outdoor shoes.

But the kerning skills of the Chinese sign fitters make its Beijing shop appear just that bit more interesting.