Franco-Portuguese relations

As far as I know, and Elf Odin (@ElfOdin) too, enceinte is French for pregnant.

But altofalante is, I believe, Portuguese for speaker.

So how do you get a French pregnant from a Portuguese speaker?

Sounds like Rodrigo has some explaining to do to Monsieur et Madame Dubois.

De-stress signal

The Malaysian Ministry of Tourism was being derided the other week for publishing this advert featuring a stress ball with text printed on it that was supposed to say, 'Don't Be Stressed. Come and De-stress in Malaysia.'

But it didn't.

A bit of a stress balls up.

Unless Malaysia is home to a growing industry in shabby chic production.

Love a duck

I don't know about you but, at my Chinese, plain old Shredded is how I normally have it.

offbeatchina.com

Hard cash

Angie J was more than a little surprised the other day when she came across this ATM outside a new Tesco Express in Aberystwyth town centre offering Welsh speakers a degree of largesse not normally associated with bankers.

That's Bankers for those of you whose ears suddenly pricked up.

We've come to expect free cash withdrawals.

But free erections? Now that is big.

OK. It may serve to underline the somewhat diverse benefits to be enjoyed from a hole in the wall by certain of those who live among us.

But to ask a Welsh speaker to check a few words before going public?

Surely it's not that hard.

Chinese laundry blues

Dennis A has been rummaging again and found this.

Honestly. I don't think the reference to the child is necessary.

Because, if you're having to turn the garment inside out to wash it, then surely the child will just pop out anyway.

Taking the biscuit

Why, thank you, Dennis A. I don't mind if I do. It's a very kind offer.

Do you think she'd mind if I also dunked?

Happy Buddah

Feeling esurient down the King's Road?

You might like to try this place to put you on.

Feeling corpulent down the King's Road?

You might like to try this place to put you off.

Chinese puzzles

On a recent trip to China, Jon C found many things he considered amusing.

Or, as the Chinese might put it in their beautifully literal translating style, he succeeded in obtaining a herd of devices which he was mindful would tickle him.

For example, this sign he spotted in a lift provided a number of gems.

I don't know about you but, by the time I'd finished reading these, the voice in my head had started using a corny stereotypical Chinese accent and was adding 'Confucius he say' before every sentence.

Socksy pictures

Browsing through shutterstock.com the other day, presumably looking for some images to use, Jon C came across this photo of some hand-knitted gift socks.

Only, the translation of the description didn't go quite the way you'd expect.

Now Jon didn't say - and I certainly didn't ask him - for what particular type of image and for which of those specific keywords he was searching. And for what purpose.

We can only hope that socks for Christmas gifts were on his mind.

And nothing else.

Whisky, Tango, Foxtrot?

Here's another of those WTF? articles courtesy, it would seem, of a weird and wonderful translation application.

Jon C is interested in The Quantified Self and came across the article in Cyprus Today.

Here's the headline to start you off.

Clue: for Assistance, read Help and for We, read Us. Once you've mastered the code, it all makes perfect sense.

Try your newly-found code-breaking skills on the opening paragraph.

Easy, yes?

It gets harder.

And harder.

Well, the author's correct there. I need to step divided from whatever I'm doing until I've calmed down after attempting that lot. So I'm going to have to say, 'I'm out.'

But, if you're up for more, you'll find the article here.

Don't say you weren't warned.

When?

Strolling along the promenade at Tywyn last week I came across this warning sign which was posted in at least two locations. Both signs had the same error.

For all I know there may be lots of Welsh typos in there that my Welsh friends will be enjoying.

For the rest of us, I've highlighted the offending mistake.

Something seems to have gone wrong when.

Sorry. Something seems to have gone wrong when it was translated.

Left right in a quandary

Shoppers in Cardiff city centre have been left scratching their heads over this sign in St Mary's Street.

You see, the Welsh version translates back into English as 'pedestrians look right'.

So, is it a mischievous plot to cull the English tourists?

Or was the sign-maker an English speaker with a grudge?

Either way (geddit?) it's an omen.

Oh, OK. It's just a bad sign.

Cross incontinence

I thought it would be a good time to take a look at some of the gaffes that companies have made when introducing their brands and slogans to other countries.

For example, the Turn It Loose slogan used by Coors translated into Spanish as Suffer From Diarrhoea.

And Clairol introduced its Mist Stick curling iron into the German market only to find that mist is slang for manure. Not too many people wanted to use a sh-t stick to style their hair.

When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as they had in the US featuring a picture of a baby on the label. In Africa, however, because many people can't read, companies routinely print a picture of the product on the label. Oops.

Meanwhile, Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the same name as a notorious porn mag.

And an American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of I Saw The Pope (el papa), the shirts read I Saw The Potato (la papa).

Also, when Parker marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read It Won't Leak In Your Pocket And Embarrass You. The company thought that the word embarazar (to impregnate) meant to embarrass. The ad actually read It Won't Leak In Your Pocket And Make You Pregnant.

Finally, for the time being, Frank Perdue's chicken slogan It Takes A Strong Man To Make A Tender Chicken translated into Spanish as It Takes An Aroused Man To Make A Chicken Affectionate.

Do you know of any others you'd like to share?

What the British say and what they mean

Spotted this on twitter the other day posted by @suzanne_moore.

I think it's very good.

Which means I think it's very good.

Gifts R U'S

When I was walking along the beach in Spain one evening recently, this sign jumped right off the shop front and hit me between the eyes.

The plural of cadeau (which is the French word for gift) is cadeaux, not cadeaus.

If the plural was cadeaus (and I've written it twice now so surely you would have noticed) there would be no apostrophe between the u and the s.

The mistake of inserting an apostrophe before the s in plurals is often made in written English.

But, in French, apostrophes are only ever used to replace a missing letter. There's no such thing as an apostrophe to denote possession in that language.

I wonder what letter the shop owner thinks is missing. The x perhaps?

And why is presents not written as present's? Such inconsistency.

Finally, the shop is in Spain. Why use the French word in the first place?

English, fair enough. Many English people go on holiday to the Costa del Sol. Indeed, many live there.

But it's not as if the place is teeming with French people. After all, they have their own south coast to enjoy. If anything, the word should have been the German for gifts. There were hundreds of Germans there. So Geschenke would be my choice. That would be Geschenkes, or rather Geschenke's, in the shop owner's parlance.

OK, it's beginning to sound like a rant now so I'll stop before it gets out of hand.

But how did I notice the error in the first place?

It's a gift.

Disorientated after extraordinary rendition 2

The second in the Lost In Unusual Translation series.

Thanks once again to Greg L for submitting these gems from engrish.com and chairmanlol.com

Disorientated after extraordinary rendition

Or simply lost in unusual translation.

Thanks to Greg L who submitted these beauties taken from chairmanlol.com and engrish.com

Welsh email reply ends up on road sign

Here's a classic from the archives. It was featured on the BBC News website in October 2008.

Swansea council got lost in translation when it was looking to prevent lorries using a road near a supermarket in the Morriston area of the city.

All official road signs in Wales are bilingual, so the local authority emailed its in-house translation service requesting the Welsh version of: "No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only".

They thought the reply they received was what they needed so officials set the wheels in motion to create the large sign in both languages.

The notice went up and all seemed well - until Welsh speakers began pointing out the embarrassing error.

Unfortunately, the email response had said in Welsh:

"I am not in the office at the moment. Send any work to be translated".