A bridge too near

Repeat after me, the company mantra.

Cruz conrtol

Oh look. The US Presidential campaign is getting into a higher gear.

Never mind, Rafa. I'm sure there'll be many more like this from your rivals before too long.

Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs

Spotted at the Wetherby office of its Member of Parliament a couple of Saturdays ago.

On the stairs that lead up to the office. Open to the public.

At a communal address.

And unattended.

So, not quite 'delivered exactly' as quoted in DX's marketing.

Swissair

Well, I suppose it's reassuring...

...that you're not going to get just a mouthful of holes.

Hail the fail

You've surely noticed the increasing number of Uber taxis around our towns and cities.

But, as the BBC is inclined to say, other taxi services are available.

One of them, Hailo, is much smaller than Uber and is trying desperately to win market share, particularly in London.

Unfortunately, Hailo's campaign slogan 'London. We're all over it', due to one of those pesky apostrophe catastrophes, is already showing signs of defeatism.

Photo: Gwen Wark/Facebook

Exercise books

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.

Ah yes. An excellent analogy.

And, you would think, a particularly apt slogan to put on the side of a mobile library, as reported in the Somerset County Gazette.

Robert Colledge

If only the people responsible had the ability to read themselves.

Robert Colledge

Stimulator simulator

Tom L quite fancied downloading this game until he saw the strapline.

So that's what real Subway Drivers are doing in their cosy little cabs.

And all in glorious 3D.

Be wear

Thanks, Dennis A, for this one.

There's some debate about whether the caption is, in fact, intentional or a typo.

Either we are Number 1 in which case we're definitely not as far as apostrophe placement is concerned.

Or we were Number 1, in which case we might have been at one time but we're certainly not now.

Either way, it's not particularly good news for the UK.

As for the hoodie, where would we wear it?

Well, we're wearing it on the weir now but where were we when we were wearing it where we were then?

In the warehouse. Which, if there's any justice, is to where these were wares which we were wearing would wend their weary way.

Suite deals

Queen Anne furniture with Mary Anne marketing.

You can't get much lower than that.

Size matters

Statisticians claim that, in the UK, you're never more than 20 feet away from a rat.

In the US apparently they use a different unit of measurement.

Not exactly a standard length though.

A different angle

Angie J sees this van regularly on her travels in Mid Wales.

Well that angle is certainly different.

Then again, if it's really supposed to be Angel, I wonder who it means?

It's certainly not the van driver.

He's well known to Angie and, according to her, well, he's far from being one.

A matter of taste

Dennis A has been out and about again with his camera.

It's what comes with cooking on an open fire.

The 12 Typos of Christmas

For the final post before Christmas Day I've gone completely festive with a YouTube collection of typos from xthankmyluckystarx.

As she admits, she can't sing but hats off to her anyway for putting them all together.

Back on Friday with more holiday fun.

Meanwhile, have a very Merry Christmas!

Crash and burn

I run several websites which help bring business to my printing machines.

Though I say it myself, I'm reasonably good at giving them suitable names which reflect the types of service they offer while also sounding attractive to potential customers.

If I ran a driving school, I don't think I would make this mistake.

According to Dennis A, among the courses they offer are...

a £280 12-hour mini crash course especially for, presumably, young Estate Agents,

a £485 23-hour intermediate crash course for those drivers who are one hour short of a day,

and a £610 30-hour novice crash course for those who feel they need more time as they haven't yet quite crashed enough.

The lost detail

No, not a play on the title of the Jack Nicholson film.

But almost as funny.

Oh yes, Stratford Hall.

Always.

On the bread line

There I was, enjoying my breakfast toast, when I almost choked on this.

Shame the strap line doesn't match the standard of the product.

Come on, Irwins, use your loave's and get a grip.

Oh, and while you're at it, see if you can find the missing fullstop too.

Do you have it?

Thanks to Jon C who sent me this photo of a window display promoting the G.I. Joe: Retaliation 3D film which was posted on Twitter by @john_oates.

Hello, John. Presumably that's your reflection we can see in the window.

G.I. Joe might have what it takes.

But clearly, whoever approved the display doesn't.

Akin to get it right

Back to our old friend, Todd Akin, the would-be replacement for Claire McCaskill as US Senator for Missouri.

After his poor choice of words in a TV interview, he tried to make amends on his site.

Yes, Todd, you did make a mistake.

Someone must have told the web site designers that 'your' was incorrect. You can imagine the phone call: 'The word your should end with an apostrophe r e.'

So that's exactly the change they made.

Doh.

Eventually, they got it right.

Yes, Todd, you sure know how to use the wrong words in the wrong way.

Losers

An email arrived last week from these people.

Yes, those lids can cause real problems when let loose.

And, if that wasn't enough, they've also had difficulty copying the word separate.

A lost cause, I think.

I's bin misplaced in America

Mitt Romney has a new app available for the iPhone. Or should that be for the Pihone?

It encourages you to promote his campaign as the Republcian candidate for the American presdiential election by taking a photograph and overlaying it with one of a number of supportive slogans.

One problem though.

Doh.

Not to worry. What harm could possibly come from the man with his hand on the button suffering a little finger trouble?