The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference who acquired his size from too much pi.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it was an optical Aleutian.
She was only the whisky maker's daughter, but he loved her still.
A catapult was confiscated in an algebra class as it was a weapon of maths disruption.
The butcher backed into his bacon slicer and got a little behind with his orders.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies in the street and was arrested for littering.
A grenade thrown into a French kitchen would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Two hats hanging on a hat rack. One says to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
A backward poet writes inverse.
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