O no

He looks so happy to have signed for his new football team.

And that's without the club even giving him an o as a welcome gift.

Hacked off

'Get yourself an internship at a newspaper,' they said. 'Get your Journalism career off to a great start,' they said.

So I did. And what did they have me doing? Typesetting the flipping ACC football results. Such a bore.

Well I showed 'em.

I showed 'em real good.

Poor cakes

The pie, the pasty and the sandwich all have something to show for their efforts, although it's far from clear exactly what it is they own.

It's a different story for the poor old cakes. They have nothing.

Hillary pilloried

It seems that someone at Hofstra University thought they'd try and pillory Hillary.

I have a strong feeling she'll get them back one day.

Shooting from the hip

In a recent football match against Huddersfield Town, Gill Swerts, a Notts County football player, was sent off, no doubt for some kind of foul on the field.

I don't think it was this foul though.

They say that your predictive text is based on your own personal typing history, so someone at Sky Sports has a little explaining to do.