A for 'orses

One of my Dad's favourite double acts was Clapham And Dwyer.

Although we didn't have The Surrealist Alphabet on a 78 recording, it was one of theirs from the 1930s which Dad often quoted.

A for 'orses.
B for mutton.
C for th' Highlanders.
D for ential.
E for Adam.
F for vescence.
G for police.
H for respect.
I for Novello.
J for oranges.
K for ancis.
L for leather.
M for sis.
N for a dig.
O for the garden wall.
P for a penny.
Q for a song.
R for mo.
S for you.
T for two.
U for films.
V for La France.
W for a bob.
X for breakfast.
Y for Gawd's sake.
Z for breezes.

There are a number of alternatives which you might prefer as some of them bring the alphabet more up to date.

B for you go.
C for miles.
E for brick.
H for beauty.
I for an eye.
I for the engine.
I for or.
K for teria.
N for lope.
O for the rainbow.
P for a whistle.
Q for hours.
R for Askey.
S for Rantzen.
U for me.
U for mism.
W for quits.
Y for girlfriend.
Z for 'is 'at.