Thirst prize

Ever since this arrived from Janis Ian's Facebook Page via Dennis A I've been trying to work out how you might express such a position.

Thirdst?

Firdst?

Threest?

Or maybe I'm reading too much into it and it's simply a prize for lifting a 3 stone medal in the palm of one hand.

Thirsty work.

Grim forecast

You know how worried you were when you agreed to let your child go to Glastonbury?

Let the BBC Weather subtitles team put your mind at rest.

Because?

Well, because it's Glastonbury.

Explicative deleted

Some of us still clearly remember our shock when we discovered, during the Watergate saga, just how often people in power use offensive language.

The edited transcripts of many meetings in The White House brought the expression (expletive deleted) to the fore. Over the years it's been shortened, through laziness I guess, to simply (expletive).

A self-censoring article in Times Record - the online news source for Fort Smith, Western Arkansas and Eastern Oklahoma no less - describes the first night the band Vintage Trouble supported The Who.

You can read the full article here. (As VT is my current favourite band, I'm keen to spread the word whenever the opportunity arises.)

Meanwhile, I'm tempted to ask the publishers to explicate their own literary creation.

And tell them what a complete set of (expletive)ing (expletive)s they are.

Double fault

Wimbledon starts today so I'm inspired to buy some refreshing Robinsons drinks.

Unfortunately, Tesco has seen me coming.

What the deuce?

Advantage Tesco.

In fact, game, set and match to Tesco. Every time.

Taking the biscuit

Why, thank you, Dennis A. I don't mind if I do. It's a very kind offer.

Do you think she'd mind if I also dunked?

Father Ted

Looks like Father Dougal's been in charge of the notice board this week.

A bitter pill

Did you watch the World Cup Opening Ceremony?

The sound was rubbish. None of the vocals could be heard.

Maybe it was because J.Lo was pilled out.

Apperently.

Clause for kerncern

Bull Titan US is the brand name of a range of casual and outdoor shoes.

But the kerning skills of the Chinese sign fitters make its Beijing shop appear just that bit more interesting.

The First Of His Name

Perhaps he was disturbed while illegally searching through dental records to discover his true identity.

Any guesses what his middle name might be?

Yep. You're probably right.

Café society

Or at least a society of cafés, as discovered by Jon C in Redwood City, CA.

A society whose membership numbers just one.

First, there's the caffe.

Then there's the caffee.

Finally, there's the café.

I know California celebrates diversity but that's just crazy.

Playing with fire

A disaster waiting to happen is averted only by the coloured lettering.

Otherwise, the publisher could have been well and truly flicked.

Monumental typo

There's a WWII monument in Veterans Memorial Park in Matamoras, PA, USA, which has rewritten American history.

Literally.

Oh well, at least typos aren't written in stone these days.

D'oh.

Pet hate

Oh, come on.

Make your mind up.